Test Your Memory

Just the thing to forceably clear away cobwebs from your holiday partying.

The Short Term Memory Checker

Simple to learn, impossible to play long, impossible to stop playing.

Jesus Vs Satan

One day the devil got his new laptop, and decided to drop in on Jesus.

As they talked they started arguing about who was the best on the computer.

They argued for a while and then decided that they would just have a competition to see who was the best, so they setup a LAN party.

They both sat down at their computers, and started working.

They did spread sheets, typing, programming, web design, surfing the web, playing games, and more!

All of a sudden there was a flash of lightning and the power went out!

The power came back on, and both computers restarted. The devil started screaming, cursing, and throwing a fit because all of the work he had done over the last few hours had been lost!

The devil looked over at Jesus and saw him sitting calmly smiling and printing his work.

The devil screamed

You must be cheating! - - How can you be printing your work when we just lost all of it???

Jesus just shrugged and said

It's easy........Jesus Saves

New Government Program Ends Job Discrimination

The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)

Washington, DC - Congress is considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans.

The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,

said California Senator Barbara Boxer

We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.

In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability.

Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement 'warehouse' stores (65%). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million 'middle man' positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as

Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?

As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,

said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Michigan, due to her inability to remember righty tightey, lefty loosey.

This new law should be real good for people like me,

Gertz added. With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Senator Dick Durban (D-IL)

As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so.

How Government Works

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said

Someone may steal from it at night.

So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said

How does the watchman do his job without instruction?

So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. Then Congress said

How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?

So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports. Then Congress said

How are these people going to get paid?

So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people. Then Congress said

Who will be accountable for all of these people?

So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary. Then Congress said

We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost.

So they laid off the night watchman.

Evil Car, Or Evil Owner?

»http://www.youtube.com/v/eyYtld1vEY8
This is a bit much.

I wonder how much it costs to clean cats blood all out of the interior of the car? And finding the head sitting on the passengers seat wouldn't be all that kewl either.

My Car, Your Cat, A Bath For Your Cat

»http://www.youtube.com/v/_CMvfov89Rk
It's my car, I didn't buy it to make a napping spot for cats.

Keep your cat in your house, not on my car, and he'll do fine.